sleep & memory

day in and day out. day in and day out. I try to keep my sentences short, oh, just the way you like it. I remember that ride, where I felt completely at peace with the world. How I always wished the world could look just like this, forever. The sky was blue and the grass was green. I wanted to fly up and out of myself, and lay there until time decomposed me. These pictures bring back memories of a time that was once much better. I didn't have any cares or worries. I was, really, halfway across the world. I was outside the area of communication with my friends and family, but I felt so disconnected, it didn't even matter. The big green phones always called out to me, ring, ring, ring. The card in my pocket burned a hole. Don't you wish you were there, too? I know you do. No one, ever, in existence, shall return to my exact spot and feel what I felt. No one shall look out the rain-speckled window and stare at those boys with such wild ferocity and wonder... How could two school boys, on their bicycles, be so interesting? I traveled from city to country and from country to city. I can say I've climbed a mountain. And I wouldn't be lying.
I can sit here and stare at the television, and maybe I'm not so alone now because I can hear my mother sleeping in the next room. I have a feline next to me, adjoined to my hip. My legs are feeling the warmth of this machine, and it's traveling to my cold hands and feet once again. The lights are unnaturally yellow, and I wish I could take a picture. Outside, is black. Black like that time. I feel like the night calls out to me, as though I should be a nocturnal person. But sleeping is so good to me, coddling me like a newborn child. It takes away my self, and allows me to dance and writhe in it's dream world, where I am quite invincible. I see bad things, and good things, things I both do not want and want to remember. Sometimes I am sad to awaken, other times ecstatic. My consciousness is slipping, being pulled from behind my eyes. Can I reach out to you? I think not. My other half is sleeping a town away, watching bad kung fu movies and jogging at 11:30 at night. I wish I had the motivation to wander around the earth so late at night. I want to be someone else. My lip is bleeding bad now and my back is crying.


pictures(c) me, except for #3