What am I feeling?

My head has that kind of heavy feeling, like it could just topple off of my neck at any moment. I can feel the cold from my toes pressed against my jeans. The sun is shining outside, and it's a beautiful day. I drove home with the windows all the way down, and felt like I belonged. My hair was rushing around my face in the wind, but not going above my head thanks to my hat. I was listening to the right music, and smoking a cigarette. But I was returning home to an empty house. I wanted to go somewhere, and do something, but I knew that homework was awaiting me. Homework that isn't getting done, even now. The television is on, and it gives me some sort of connection to the outside world, even in this lonely house. I feel like I'm not sitting inside of an empty building so much. But you. Why can't I stop thinking about you? I feel it in my fingers, but not in my brain so much. My brain is swimming. I only have so long to sleep before everything comes crashing down. And yet, I sleep all the time. Too much, for someone my age. I don't know what I want.